Samantha

My life is my writing material.

Busy living, not having a life. 

2019-08-22

前男友加我微信说 “再给你看一眼妹妹照片吧 我马上要回国了 过几天有人来领养她 ” 

从收到申请到现在,我整个人都是一种说不出的感受。还没有通过。我在想如果不通过这个事情可能就过去了。如果通过的话,我在期待什么呢?我真的对妹妹的照片感兴趣吗?从我把小花放在他那里的那一刻我就再也没想过我和她的生命还有半点关系。I’m so tired of raising up a cat. Am I a cat person? I don’t know. The only thing I felt bad about cat is that he accidentally killed two cats...

2019-08-20

Only work no play makes Vera a doll girl. 

2019-08-19

大脑一片空白。The writing girl is dead. The dead comes back. 

2019-08-12

看了一圈适合25岁以上适合用的精华,我决定把买给我妈的小棕瓶拿过来,给她换一瓶。

2019-08-10

也就是说,我这辈子总是在迟到的原因是我根本就不想早到,如果按照“目的论”而言的话。我觉得说得通

2019-08-10

Since I’m talking to myself, let’s talk about being honest to oneself. I can’t stop thinking about what I did wrong to make him get sick of me. And I think I should stop doing that because it could be me and it could be him. And there is no way I’m going to find out the answer by wondering and guessing...

2019-08-06

人接受自己的恐惧和焦虑要比接受自己的脆弱更难。说完这句话感觉又如何分得清孰轻孰重呢。人在大多数的时候都会合理化自己的行为,把脆弱合理为强硬,对焦虑视而不见。所以大脑一边强行舒适,身体却无法与其共鸣,像是与大脑貌合神离。明明身体已经焦虑到整夜整夜都睡不着觉,甚至需要用褪黑素来助眠,大脑却依然对其视而不见,选择在天黑的时候入睡,天亮的时候起身——等到开始专注到那些使人焦虑的事情,焦虑方才得以缓解。

2019-08-05

漫漫长夜,终于熬到天亮。

2019-08-05

There, I opened another gate for myself. 

“所有认真的思考者都考虑过自杀,” 尼采指出说,“它是帮助我们度过夜晚的慰藉。” 

2019-08-05

屈服于性欲是否是忠实于身体本能的体现?

2019-08-04

I take melatonin to go to bed and drink coffee to wake myself up. 

And now we are taking about how to build up a natural and healthy relationship with our body. 

2019-08-04

And what is expecting us? 

2019-08-03

Sometimes you need a good sex to trade a bad one. 

Though I don’t want to put it that way. 

I like that boy. I feel comfortable when I’m with him. I feel secured when I hug him in bed. 

But somehow I still couldn’t manage to sleep beside him(stay awake all night). I guess my body still...

2019-08-01

不敢相信我的探探要被封一天 

This has turned the night into a wiredly rough night. 

2019-08-01

约出来了心动很久的男孩子。一起吃饭,一起行走在夏天的夜晚。虽然说不上多浪漫,毕竟话题也是一会儿一会儿。但偶尔我笑的很开心,看他也忍俊不禁。于是就这样走到分叉路口,他说你走吧我去前面坐车,我说好好便悻悻离开了。到家以后回想发生过的一切。想起我们聊到工作,我问他是IT行业吗,他说不是码农都没有女朋友。我心里咯噔一下,这句话的言外之意是。当时我没有继续问下去,总觉得当时的场景难免有点尴尬。当家以后疑惑被越来越放大我问了几个闺蜜都说可以试探性的问问。于是我鼓起勇气正准备去问,结果无意点进了他的头像,突然看到他的背景换成了一个好看清爽的女孩子。我突然就明白了晚上发生的一切。于是重新措辞,表示不好意思是我...

2019-07-24

人类真是个有趣的物种

2019-07-23

There you go, erase all the self-awareness

What do I know about love? 

The only thing I can think of with people that I actually like would be holding hands not making love, kissing on the eyes and foreheads not on the lips. 

Though it does feel bad when you heart someone and you can’t get him/her laid ;) but that’s fine, you gotta...

2019-07-18

Don’t make any decisions while you are angry. 

2019-07-18

Well I quit. 

2019-07-18

回国一年了,工作8个月。

I never thought I could go this far like I never thought I could live this longer. 

不知道时间是如何爬过我的皮肤。只知道从某种程度上来说,我和“以前”的我甚至“去年”的我,都不再是同一个人。It's like in some way I know what I am doing, but I know NOTHING before I was 25. 我甚至不知道是年龄的原因还是时间和经历的原因,导致我成长为现在的样子。It's like before 25,...

2019-07-14

Just say it. 

2019-07-12

虽然有点hangover, 没睡够脑子也有点懵,而且还在上班的路上,但度过了两天自己想做的一堆乱七八糟的事就是很开心哇。感觉充充分分虚度了两天时光。

2019-07-12

最近工作强度太大,早上收拾东西暼到床边被我放了几天的睡前读物《当尼采哭泣》,内心突然表示想抱着尼采哭一会儿。

2019-07-09

好想成为像欲望都市里的Carrie那样的女作家啊

2019-07-09

工作太累无暇顾及其他

Ed Sheeran 给我发音乐私信我都没看 

2019-07-08

I’m this [ ] close to jump off of a cliff. 

Life has pushed me to the very edge. 

Tomorrow is the last day. 

I’m gonna disappear the day after tomorrow. 

My brain is too damaged to function. 

连续5天通班,每天12小时。

大脑严重受损无法正常运行。

2019-07-08

Me and my best friend: 

My friend goes “说实话,我们昨晚遇到的那个男孩子,I hate to say this but...我真的觉得他有点四肢发达...you know.” 

Me “I know, but you are kinda mean to say that you know, I think he is just..underdeveloped.” 

My friend burst into laughter “babe you are much meaner than I am!”

2019-07-05

欲望都市的剧情是我每晚梦境的预告。

2019-07-01
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